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Location: VICTORIA, British Columbia, Canada

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Civilization at it's best

Is there anything more important than a civilized breakfast?

No, nothing can compare with strong fresh esspresso and fresh bread in the form of a croissant, eggs, and bacon or sausage or ham.

These should be consumed in a sun filled breakfast room, or at a cafe. This is not a time to socialize, but to ease yourself into the day. Waiters or barrista's should not induce conversation until AFTER the first cup is down. Just because they've had a zillion shots already because they opened at 6AM doesn't mean I want to listen to a really fast caffeine induced conversation about whatever it is baristas do. Take my order, take my money, and get on that machine, yesterday.

Waiters at good cafes and breakfast spots are so important. The good ones are professional, friendly, and cautious. Suss me out before cracking jokes like we're old chums. I believe that I'm not entirely human before my first cup of coffee, or tea. And not some packet of potpourri that CLAIMS to be tea. I'm talking strong orange peakoe or a nice oolong. Don't mess me about with a dismal approximation of what tea should be... a bad cup of tea is an insipid waste of hot water.

Reader... Don't let this little fulmination (my new favorate word... Look it up!) scare you away... I'm not likely to be rude, or violent. I'm a firm believer in the social contract. I've worked service jobs and I've come to understand what is expected and what is appropriate. When confronted with abominable service I'm not likely to berate the poor fellow or girl. I won't launch a tirade itemizing all the points above. I just allow myself a small internal explosion of violence... A little imagined murder... a dressing down. But all anyone will see is maybe to much politeness... The british empire was founded with unfriendly politeness... kill them with kindness I always say. You don't catch bees with vinegar or whatever.

Besides, I've had customers say some unkind things and I think it's because they're weak and cowardly... they're just transplanting their feelings of inadequacy, or frustration that their wife is fat, whatever it is that weak and cowardly people who can't deal with lifes little quirks think about. They abuse the customer client relationship. They let that little bit of power corrupt them. A little bit of hand and they're mad with power.

No rant, at least in this blog, would be complete without some reference to The Bay... Thunder Bay... The Bag.. T Bitch... TdotBdot... My home for so many more months. Thunder Bay does NOT have any of the traits listed above. Tim Hortons IS NOT an appropriate breakfast spot. You can't get what I'm talking about in a drive thru window. Maybe it's because of the cold... maybe the rumble of trains at 4AM... maybe it's just because Thunder Bay is HICK and I'm CITY. I don't know I'm not a ...Sociologist. God, if it wasn't for the University out of towners, this place would be a complete shit pit... But then I wouldn't be here to complain, eh?

It's windy as hell today, so there won't be many leaves left. I'm looking forward to snow, I guess. I'm REALLY looking forward to Halloween. Any costume Ideas?

My Americano is drunk, blessed cafine has soothed, this therapudic blog has done it's job. And I can't avoid doing the massive homework assignments any longer.


Blogger Heatherness said...

You had me at espresso.
Look at what I've done to you eh? Turned you into a true-blue coffee snob.
Sniff. I'm so PROUD!!

3:48 p.m.  
Blogger Heatherness said...

I wish we could go for a civilized breaky tomorrow. Or even that you were here, so you could steal my car while I sleep and go on your own. Either way means you're HERE.

3:17 a.m.  
Blogger James Oliver said...

I'll steal your car any morning... I promise to bring you back... a hot coffee.

11:26 p.m.  

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